Soothing Rain
by Vivien Williams
Summary: New, cold Lily arrives at Hogwarts, her dark past won't let her go, while she suffers to adjust in her new world... Can James help?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I only own the plot, so don't sue.

Soothing Rain

Chapter 1

'_He was back again. He had finally daigned to reappear after 1 month of disappearance. But this time, no improvement was visual. Again, he was back drunk and mad, dirty and without money, completely useless. Let's just hope that this time he won't hit too hard._

_I silently walked out of my room, better go unnoticed until the storm passes, or until the storm decides it wants someting to do with me, either way, silence is the best tactic._

_He enters, slamming the door behind him. I can smell him, a mixture of alcohol, dirt and whatever else fills my lungs, nausea following close behind. His heavy footsteps echo morbidly as he enters the living room, where mum is currently pondering insanely on how to make us stay in the house after being fired. The bills seem to charge over her, suffocating her with their mass and length._

_Father steps around in that room. He stops in front of the picture where me, mum, Petunia and himself had posed one sunny afternoon long, long ago. But then the bills catch his eyes and his fury is beyond madness._

"_You fucking bitch," He screamed out to my mum, who, I believe, started trembling, "I can't fucking believe you haven't paid for them! I left you for a month, but still, you find a fucking way to not be paying! What do you spend your days doing, you lazy tramp?! Probably being laid, unworthy whore!"_

_Mum still didn't dare to move. Her eyes fixed on the floor, avoiding at all cost the gaze of my insane father. She didn't itch as he punched her, breaking her nose in the process. She didn't budge as he slapped her, blacking her eye. She only fell to the ground, sobbing, as we heard him leave the house, never to see him again._

_I slowly walked down the black corridor. I went to the bathroom, searching for the first aid kit in our broken and almost empty cupboard._

_She was sitting on the dirty floor, her back resting against the mouldy wall as her knees were brought up to protect her chest. She had her face in her hands, the blood from her nose leaking pass her fingers, and rolling somberly down her sleeves, staining them with everlasting scarlet._

_She was crying desperately, as if her tears would save her. But they wouldn't, they had never saved me._

_How I wish for soothing rain._

_She didn't look up as I crouched down to sooth her wounds. I gently tried to remove her hands from her face, but she pushed me roughly away, her hands leaving prints of red on my white shirt. She sobbed harder._

_Father had hit her terribly this time... but her heart's scars were deeper than her outward wounds.'_

"Well, Miss Evans, you heard the Sorting Hat. Your house is now Gryffindor. Any bad actions will take away points whilst any good will earn more for your house. You will attend class with the Gryffindors in sixth year and they shall,eventually, become your family." said skepticially McGonagall. For she too had felt that mysterious and cold aura which escaped from the new exchange student. Her sixth sense was telling her that great things were to happen, and that Miss Evans, will without a doubt be caught up tightly in the middle.

"If you would please follow me. The rest of the school is attending dinner at the very moment. I suspected the Headmaster would have told them of your abrupt arrival."

McGonagall walked out of her cozy room, into the lamp-lit and cold corridor. Lily followed her. Her out-ward expression was calm and collected, nothing could suggest the frenzy going on behing her emerald eyes. She had finally arrived at Hogwarts, the best renowned, or so described, school of witchcraft and wizardry in the world. Her past was, well, history now. And as she walked down the somber corridor, silently trembling from the cold, she thought that maybe this time, she would be given the chance to start over, and that what she lived before would be forgotten, and of course, stay forgotten.

A large door opened creacking. Distracting the students, driving them to look up, confused, from their full plates. They did not understand what in the world could possibly disturb them from their joyful dinner. People stopped talking. McGonagall came in. Most hadn't even noticed she had left. She looked somewhat disturbed. Probably the Marauders had pulled another ingenious and terribly hard to get rid of prank, and that she was just overly annoyed by it. Yes, that was probably it, they thought. They looked questioningly towards the Marauders, excepting some kind of recognition from them, but the Marauders seemed just as clueless as to what might disturb their transfiguration teacher on that cold night of mid-December.

They looked back towards their teacher. And then noticed a girl. A girl? And then it hit them. The newly exchange student the Headmaster had told them about a few days ago. He hadn't mentioned that the student in question would be a girl. Or that that girl would exceptionally pretty. No, beautiful was the right word.

And as the whole of the student mass fixed, amazed by the new student. The Headmaster got up from his chair. He looked at the new student. Lily Evans was her name. Yes he remembered the day he received a letter from his collegue, explaining that something terrible had happened and that he needed, at once, to take in the girl. Of course he, rather obligingly, agreed immediately. And so there was Lily Evans.

"Please, I would like you all to welcome our new exchange student from Beauxbatons. She was sorted into Gryffindor, I believe. I would all like you to welcome her in the best way possible. Ms Evans, if you would please take a seat and serve yourself a nice dinner at that table there." He announced and pointed to the table at the far end of the room, with a banner of a golden lion roaring, with a background of bloodred.

She did as she was told. The walk seemed to last on forever, but what made it torture was the Hall's eyes on her. She desperately wanted to get out, and run away god knows where. But she held her head high, she couldn't, under any circumstances show weakness. Because weakness meant flaw and with a flaw, anyone could destroy you, that was the only thing her father had taught her. Not in words exactly, more like in hits. He taught her to wear her head high, proud. That is exactly what she did as she walked down the aisle, to sit in a chair at the far end of the table, where no one sat.

The Headmaster told them all to eat up before it became cold. But she couldn't eat. Especially when she had the whole of the room staring down her neck like that. She started wishing for something, anything which could save her. But once again, wishing proved to be useless. Fate had never saved her, so why would it start now?

_Oh, how I wish for soothing rain._

The supper ended as joyfully as it had started. After a while, the student had gotten bored of watching that student. She ate nothing, didn't talk, just stayed put, statue like, staring down with empty eyes at her unfilled plate. So eventually they returned to their previous discussions, no thoughts about that lonely red haired beauty.

Well, at least, most of the students had lost interest. Four boys were still watching her. They all sported that dazed look on their faces, actually, only one looked like that, the others were simply curious about that new french creature. And as the feast ended, they decided that they would have to make it obvious of their presence to the girl. The first one thought that it would be amusing to go and pull a prank on the new arrivee, to make sure she knew who was the boss, and force her to acknowledge them. That boy in question was Sirius Black. Handsome boy, with a terrible family and who had girls and pranks as rulers of his world.

The second one thought it would be more appropriate to simply introduce themselves and ask if they could possibly help her around school, or in anything else she needed. That well-behaved boy was called Remus Lupin. His antrothopy caused him to mature before his age. He was resonable, logic and beared such a cute look, that you could only take him under your wing.

The third one was one of a kind. Intelligent, witty, funny,dashingly handsome, he had it all. Causing him to be immature most of the time.His name was James Potter. And he, at the very moment could not think of anything except on that red-haired beauty. It seemed she had stopped any logical thinking that could have been possible in his brain.

And finally, the fourth one, last and very well least, could not think at all, except for the current treacle pudding on his plate, and the blue-eyed blond sitting a few seats away from him. He looked very much like a rat, his name was Peter Pettigrew. Further comment on his behalf would simply be a waste of paper.

These four boys formed the Marauders. Well-known throughout the school, they had gained their reputation because of the pranks they pulled, their active participation in Quidditch (James was the Gryffindor captain), the way they looked, but also that strange aura they gave away, forcing everyone to like them. Girls loved them, and of course boys envied them. They were Hogwarts' golden boys.

Lily looked up as people started to move around her. She knew she would have to get up eventually as well. But she didn't want to. After a while the staring had stopped. She had started to feel a little more comfortable, but still, the food laid out in front of her brought nothing but nausea in her stomach. English food.She then realised how far away from home she was.

The students started leaving and soon, she was the only one left sitting at the table. She got up and descreetly made her way to the grand oak doors.

Lonelyness and despair edging her to look up, she did. Large, fluffy snowflake were making their way down from a stormy sky.

Snow just like that day so many, many years ago. That day when everything had changed. That same day when fate had decided to give her a chance. But had that chance been for the better or the worse?...Only fate can reveal its secrets...

_Oh, how I wish for soothing rain._

Then a lonesome hand made its way to her shoulder. She gasped and turned and then gasped again. The boy had sandy blond hair. For a second she had seen him.

Seen Tom.

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A/n: Reviews are greatly inspiring!!

Cheers,

French Tears.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing except the plot.

Chapter 2

"I'm sorry, did I scare you?" Asked Remus the moment he saw her whisk around and gasp when seeing him.

"_Non, non_, don't worry, _C'est pas grave._" She responded half in French and half in English. She calmed down a bit, and started to gaze at the boy, well man, in front of her. He had blond hair, and watery blue eyes. His facial expression suggested he was a spoilt brat, an immature git. But there was something odd. His eyes were strangely deep. How could an immature brat hold back such a deep..._secret?!_

Remus fidgeted uncomfortably under her inspecting gaze. He didn't know how to stand, to hold his arms, to show any sort of expression that wouldn't betray his...abnormal state. Why was she scruting him so intensely? Maybe he had betrayed himself and she was finally understanding what he was! He then noticed her unusual glittery emerald eyes, he had never seen anyone with such power in their eyes, no wonder he was feeling uneasy being under her stare.

"Hi, I'm Remus Lupin, 6th Year Gryffindor, and you? What year are you in?" He asked as politely as possible, but he was having trouble controling his emotions under such a gaze. That seemed to have taken her out of her inspecting state. She looked surprised by his brisk attack.

"Oh, sorry, I'm Lily Evans, also a sixth year." She answered. She didn't feel like being nice to anyone at the moment. She just wanted to get to her _dorm_ and sleep into oblivion.

An awkward silence installed itself between the two. Just when they thought that absolutely nothing could save them from this devastating silence, three boys came around laughing about something.

"Oh, and then your mother was all like 'James get back here right now before I call up Aunt Debra to kiss you until you explode!', and you just came back, like a dog with a tail in between its legs!" Sirius roared with laughter. The two other boys laughed alongside him. They apparently hadn't noticed Lily there, and Remus looked appologetically towards her, embarassed by his friends' ungentlemanly behavior. That proved Lily that Remus was not a normal boy, or more than meets the eye.

The boys turned towards Remus.

"Come on, Moony, we have to get that prank on Snivellus going, I just had that fantastic idea! You kow instead of actually pouring itch potion on his clothes, I thought we could replace it by-" Suddenly, Sirus stopped. And like a dog, he turned his head towards Lily, as if he had realised she was there, but hadn't actually seen her.

"My, my, my. What do we have here? My name is Sirius Black, Dumbledore said yours was...?" He asked, trying desperately to remember her name.

"I'm called Lily Evans. _Ravie de t'avoir rencontrer. _Pleasure to meet you." she answered politely, thinking that the nicer she was, the quicker she could escape.

"Ooh, French, are you? Ah! I love the...um...the..uh, _landscape_." Peter Pettigrew budged in.

"_Landscape? _You've never been to France! God Wormtail, could you please avoid talking just for the sake of talking!" Humphed Sirius.

"Milady, this, thing of a human being, is called Peter Pettigrew. If I were you, I would avoid anything to do with him, of fear of never getting rid of him." He continued earnestly. Peter blushed slightly and looked towards the floor. This was always how Sirius treated him. He never quite understood why. Maybe it was beacuse he was short and chubby. Or maybe it was because he wasn't half as intelligent as Sirius was, anyway, Peter knew that it would have to change...

Hearing the comment that Sirius had just said would have made any normal girl giggle, just for the sake of getting remarked by Sirius, but Lily didn't. She didn't even smile, she just arched a perfectly shaped eyebrow at him. That confused him ever so slightly, but he brushed it off carelessly.

Lily then noticed a third boy standing behind Sirius and Peter. She gasped inwardly. He was handsome, but not only that, he had that look, the tall dark and mysterious look she used to dream about on long winter nights. Where the man of her dreams would come to free her from her life, but alas, Lily Evans knew and believed that there was no use in dreaming because life was just made to make you suffer.

"Well, anyway, um..Lily, I thought that maybe you would like us to show you where the common room is and where you're supposed to sleep?" Remus stated, finally realising he discomfort.

She nodded, but didn't smile.

"So,um...follow me then."He said.

And she did as she was told. She went through corridors, passed beaming paintings, crossed glowering ghosts. But Lily didn't pay any attention to anything while walking. She remembered the flash of her passed life she had had in McGonagall's office, this was getting weird, ever since she had met professor Dumbledore, strange memories of her dark past kept coming back.Then her mind rested on the four boys she had "met" just a while ago. That Remus boys was clearly hiding something and that just annoyed her for some reason.

Finally they reached the portrait of an enormous lady in a frilly pink dress.

"Password?" said the portrait in a dignified voice.

"French Tears" Replied Remus. The other boys had gone somewhere while they were making their way to the portrait. They were sneaky Lily concluded, were much more than meets the eye and unlike all the other boys she had met who were her age.

She followed Remus in the comon room. It wasn't magnificent, or breath-taking, or whatever, but it was cozy, it was inviting, and it would have to fit Lily because this was going to be her home for the next two years, well, hopefully.

Remus showed her the way to her dorm. He told her that she had to go in the dormitory with 'Sixth Years' written on its door. She did so.

As she entered, four girls looked up. One was in tears on a bed, obviously hers, while the three others were spread out around her, either on the floor or on the bed, comforting her. The girl crying sobbed harder as she saw Lily, wanting to retrieve the attention she once had, but that didn't entirely work.

Lily stood there, awkwardly, waiting for someone to speak up and free her from her position. But none did, they just kept staring (or crying).

Finally, Lily decided that she might as well give it a shot.

"Um, good evening. I'm Lily Evans. I just transferred from Beauxbatons..." she started lamely.

"Yeah we know. I'm Arya Wildor." cut off a pretty brunette with violet eyes. It was extremely enerving to be stared by those eyes. They held some kind of abnormal power, like a forgotten myth or something. And although they were annoying, Lily was curious about them, about what they were hiding...Anyway, Lily Evans was a very curious person. Well, not curious, but she wanted to know, to understand, because, when you understand, then it means that you can control, that you have power over something, so Lily made it her duty to understand everything around her, so that if anything wrong happened, she would be in control, thus avoid getting hurt, both physically and mentally. That was one of her many beliefs: knowledge was the key to power and survival was its lock.

"Um, welcome to Hogwarts, I guess. I'm Summer Knowels, nice to meet you" Replied a rather tall blondish-red haired beauty, blue eyes, regular hottie.

"And I'm Rebecca Maxwell, ditto." Another brunette, although her hair was lighter than Arya's and had curls at the end. Sea green eyes and freckles.

"And that," said Arya, "is Dawn Stranferd, crying cause her boyfriend, James Potter dumped her, have you met him, yet?" she asked, chattingly.

"Yet?...Why yet? Will I be meeting him soon?" asked Lily surprised by her comment.

"Oh, yes, you will. He can't go around without being noticed, especially by a pretty girl like yourself!" budged in Dawn.

Lily decided she would ignore that last comment. She couldn't help but a feel a little hostility in those words. She was tired of people always making comments about her looks. It wasn't her fault she had them, so why were they always stating it as if she had done it on purpose. If she could've choosed, she would have chosen to look like Arya rather than herself, because nothing, absolutely nothing, was worse than being a redhead if you were seeking unattention, like Lily was. Because she had learned at a very young age that it was better to pass unnoticed. But as Lily grew up and developped certain... parts of her body, she realised that the only way to pass unnoticed for her, was to cast an invisible charm on herself, or wear an invisibility cloak. That was her curse.

"Well, no, I haven't met him yet." she replied rather coldly.

"Weird, I thought he always made it his duty to be noticed. Well, anyway, that's what he told me!" Replied Rebecca. She seemed to be the logic one of the group. She indeed looked very serious-like.

"Lily, would you like us to show you around school tomorrow? You know, help you out with class, and show you who you should talk to or avoid, you know, the usual?" Proposed Summer.

Lily looked slightly taken aback by their forwardness, but was grateful, all the same. She nodded, all the girls smiled apart from Dawn

"So, Lily, why were you transferred in mid-December to Hogwarts?" asked Arya, curious about this beautiful and mysterious girl in front of her. She looked uneasy, something was obviously troubling her, and although she was doing a good job at hiding it, there still was something there, buried deep in her emerald eyes, just like Remus was hiding something.

"Well, um...My father got transferred to England for work so we had to follow, me and my sister" she lied. Lily was excellent at lieing. It was her art. She could make anyone believe anything she said. That had proven quite helpful in chosen situations... Well, in her case, anyone would have had to learn to learn just as convincingly as she had.

"Aww, must've been terrible to leave your friends so suddenly like that!" awed Summer.

"Um, yeah it was..." she answered uneasily."Would you guys mind it much if I turned in? I'm very tired." she continued, feeling the opposite of what she was saying, but she coudn't continue this conversation any longer, she didn't want anyone, under any circumstances, to find out about her past, and this conversation was coming dangerously close to it.

"Oh, no, suit yourself. We wouldn't want to have you all tired out on your first day tomorrow, would we?" sneered Dawn. The hostility in her words now evident to Lily.

"Um, ok, so goodnight everyone." she replied, unsure of what to answer. The other girls hadn't noticed anything going on between Lily and Dawn, best it stayed that way.

So she went to bed, thinking about her missed-up life.

' _The sun was pouring in by the ripped curtains in the hall. It was a good for the job interview mum would be having today. It was 7: 30, and I made my way to mum's bedroom to wake her up, she couldn't be late today._

_I knock on the door. No answer. I knock again. Still no answer. I open the door, it makes a creacky sound, that's sure to wake her up. I step in the room. It was dark and smelled slighlty of moisture. I walk carefully towards her bed. She was curled up in a knot with her blanket. I gently nudge her. No movements. I lean and give her a kiss. Still no movements._

"_Mum?" I asked. She didn't answer. She didn't move. Surely she wasn't..._

"_Mum?!" I scream. _

"_What the hell are you screaming for Lily?!" she turns around, alarmed._

"_Ah you're awake! I thought something had happened! Well get up now, you have a job interview in two hours!" I asnwer reasured. She wasn't dead._

_She groans. I then notice how sickly pale she looks. Her hands tremble as she sits up in her bed. _

"_Are you ok? You look ill mum. Do you want me to do something for you?" I ask concerned._

"_Yes, flower, I am ill...but there's nothing you can do, there's nothing anyone can do. You see, I shouldn't be telling you this but... when you grow up, you will understand that there are many ways to be ill, and not only physically, dear." she answered, smiling sadly, almost fatalistically, that it became ironic._

"_But you won't die, will you mum? You won't leave me, right?" I ask, suddenly scared for my life._

"_No, of course not dear, I won't ever leave you!" She says lovingly, with a tear hidden in her eye. But I can see it, she can't hide anything from me. I don't understand why she's sad. Shouldn't she be happy that father has finally left? Now we won't get hit anymore!_

"_Well, get up mum, you need to be absolutely perfect for today!" I say happily after a moment's pause._

"_That, I do." She sighs.'_

Lily woke up, shaking with sweat. the memories were coming back, again. But she couldn't deal with them, not now, not ever. It was bad enough to have lived them once, without dieing, but could she do it again? She had a new life now. She had met new people who had seemed more than eager to know her, a new school, far far away from the streets of France, so why were they back, haunting her?

She sat up in her bed and looked around. The others were sleeping soundlessly, giving an unpleasant atmosphere to the room. There was a piercing silence floating around, allowing no one to disturb it. Then it dawned on Lily. Maybe she wasn't wanted here? Maybe sooner or later they would realise who she really was, and no one would want her anymore. Maybe they had made a mistake and would throw Lily back out in the streets of Paris.

But, no. From what she had read, Dumbledore was unable to make a mistake of this length. He, she knew, was the only person in the whole of Hogwarts to know what had happened to her. And that made it ludicrous to tell herself that she didn't belong. Because, how could she know? She had only been here for a few hours!

So on such thoughts of psychological frenzy, she slowly but surely drifted back to sleep, where she would get no peace.

'_Come on Pet, mum's going to be waiting!" I hurried my sister along the street to our house. We had just been food shopping for mum, and I didn't want to lose any time to get back home, I didn't want my mother to wait._

"_God, Lilian, why do you have to suck up to mum like that all the time?! It's stupid you know." She replied nastily._

'_That's not true! I don't suck up to her, you're lieing!" I replied cooly._

"_No you're lieing! You always suck up to her so that she prefers you to me! But that's not going to work, Lilian, because, I know that she'll always love me better! So stop trying!" She yelled back hotly and sneering._

_It wasn't true, I didn't suck up to mum, I just loved her more than Petunia, and that wasn't my fault. So why was Petunia being so mean?!_

_Out of better things to do or say, I gave her a kick in the knees. She yelled out in pain and pulled my hair with her free hand._

_I pulled hers back._

_She dropped the groceries and leaped on me. She started hitting me just as I hit back. Blood was everywhere coming out of my lip, nose and her cheek. Nothing was going to save me now from my dangerous sister. When suddenly..._

"_Petunia! Lilian! What the hell are you doing?!" Screamed my mother. Oh no, my mum never sweared, this was going to be bad._

"_Get in the house this instant!" she bellowed, red in the face. The neighbours were starting to look out the window, laughing._

_We walked to the house. It had started to rain._

"_What was that all about?! Why were my girls fighting?! Have I taught you nothing?! Why do you two have to deceive me so?! I'm ashamed of you!" she was screaming herself horse. We entered the kitchen and layed our groceries on the table._

"_I'm so ashamed of you!" She started crying. "Did I also fail with you? Have I not been a good mother to you both? Haven't I sacrificed myself for both of you? This is all my fault, I mess up everything I touch." Her voice became a murmur. I wanted to save her from this guilt-trip, but how could I? What could a 9 year old girl possibly do?_

"_Mum, I promise it's not because of you-" I started._

"_Shut up Lily for a second. For once this is not about you! It's about me for a change! I can't take it any more...I just can't, this is too much. I'm gonna break down..." There was a moment of silence. Nor Petunia, nor I could understand what was going on in our mother's, our dear mother's head, the one we always seem to fight for or about, if only...god, if only..._

"_Lily, pass me that bottle of whisky" she ordered harshly._

"_But, mum, the doctor said you shouldn't drink any more! He said you could die!" I bellow pleadingly._

"_Just do as I say for once, you ungrateful, little..." she snaps back._

_Scared, I do as she says, if only..._

_Oh how I wish for soothing rain._

_I hand her the bottle. She takes a swig._

_Two swigs._

_Threes swigs._

_The bottle crashes to the floor. Soon followed by her body. _

_The thunder screams._

_So does Petunia._

_Mum is lying on the floor, she's not moving anymore.I can't hear her ragged breath. I can't hear her breathing anymore!_

"_You killed her! You killed her!" I hear screams from Petunia._

_The lightning thunders over our house. The melting snow drowns our garden, the one mum had spent so much time arranging._

_Petunia's still screaming._

_I can't move anymore._

_The thunder screams above me._

_I had killed my mother.'_

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A/n: Reviews to me and cheers to all!

TF


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own, again, nothing but the plot.

A/n: Hey everyone! Okay, I'm going to make this brief:

The story is going to be around 10-15 chapters long.

I know very well that Lily isn't french, but I needed her to come from another background than the english one, and seeing as how I am a french girl, then it was the ideal situation for me, you know, the language and stuff...It's okay if you don't understand what I mean, so whatever.

Lily isn't mean, she closed up in herself, she built walls around herself to protect herself, which is why she's so closed, but this _will_ change, she's just simply cold.

And I really, really apologize for the grammar and spelling, I do my best, but that just doesn't seem to be enough...well, anyway, thanks so much for all these terrific reviews, it's really, really nice to receive them! Well, that's about it... So, much love, and, well, enjoy!

Chapter 3:

The past was resurrecting slowly in Lily's mind. She didn't know why, but what she knew was that it was dangerously disturbing her, like how ghosts drive sooner or later humans to suicide. Exactly like that.

Lily got out of bed. The other girls were already out and about in the room, deciding on which or which pairs of shoes/earings/tops they should wear today.

"Hey lily! Did you sleep well?" asked a bright Summer on that dull Thursday morning.

"I'm okay, I suppose. Um, you?" She replied uncertainly. Lily wasn't used to all this kindness. Ever since her mother's death, she had never really had true empathy, or kindness from any human beings...not even from Tom...so all this falling compassion was coming on hard on Lily, she just didn't know how to deal with it, giving her a feeling of being powerless, unarmed, and she didn't like it. So she reacted like them, she tried to be considerate, and such, but most of the time, she came out agressive, or harsh or just indifferent. She guessed that just time could remedy to that.

She made her way to the bathroom. She took a quick but warm shower and dressed just as quickly. She applied the usual amount of make-up she used everyday, crayon, mascara, concealer. Nothing else, subtility was her way of working. Drying her hair with a spell and brushing it into her usual elegant curls was always her favorite part of her dayly dressing up. She knew it was foolish, but she couldn't help it.

Finally coming out of the bathroom, she was greeted by a grumpy Dawn. She had tears streakes down her cheeks and her sad eyes looked like they were about to pour some more.

Lily didn't know what to do. Should she greet her kindly? Should she stay there, stare, and wait for Dawn to talk? Or should she ignore her and simply pass by? Deciding it wasn't her place to enterfeer with Dawn's personal life, she thought the latter would be more appropriate, and so she went to join Arya in the Great Hall for breakfast.

As soon as she stepped in the Great Hall, whispers and gossipings could be heard. But Lily ignored it and made her way to the Gryffindor Table. Why was the gossiping still going on? Hadn't last night's been enough for a life time? And what, for the love of god, could it possibly be about? She had been here for not even a day, so how could they have anything whatsoever to talk about on her?! But Lily knew about the human behaviour, or more precisely, she knew how a woman reacts towards one another. She knew about jealousy, about the feeling of hostility towards a woman who was prettier, even if you didn't know the woman in question. But alas, no one can change the human psychology, and all Lily could do was wait and see if it would calm down a bit.

Lily looked around. She caught many of the eyes' of the students, some were envious, others angsty, some hopeful, and others simply indifferent. She did her best to look away a quickly as possible, just to fall on another gaze. But after a while of that frenzy tourniquet, Lily's eyes fell on Arya, who was currently waving her hand over, and struggling to stuff a chocolate chipped muffin in her mouth. Lily made her way to her, and sat down beside Arya.

"Hey there! How're you? You seemed to have a nightmare last night, you were shaking and moving about in your bed, you feeling better?" asked Arya.

"Um, what? No, no, I didn't have a nightmare last night, well at least, I don't remember having one!" she lied, uneasy. She felt awkward lieing around Arya, she had a distinct feeling that the girl could see straight through her lies, and that it was simply pointless to do so. But alas, Lily wasn't about to reveal her secrets, her past life to anyone, whether they knew about her lieing or not.

"Ah well, if you say so...So, did you have a look at our time-table? It's horrid on Thursday mornings! Bad luck of you to start on a Thursday. Oh well, at least you'll have me to protect you!" Arya continued on a cheery tone. She had decided to ignore the new girl's lieing, believing firmly that she would, eventually, come around. Arya was of a very forgiving nature. She thought that it was part of the human to be secretive, but that if the person in question was in need, then the person would come around and ask for help, consciously or not. Which is why she didn't pressure Lily. Arya had taken a liking to Lily the night before, so she didn't want, in any way to put Lily in an uncomfortable situation.

Lily didn't respond to that comment. It wasn't that she didn't want to, it was that she didn't know how to, which unerved Lily to no end.

After a bit of pancakes, orange juice, and an apple, Lily decided she had eaten well enough, so she and Arya made their way to their first class of the morning, Defanse Against the Dark Arts (DADA). Lily didn't know what to expect from the classes in Hogwarts. Would they be harder or easier than the ones in Beauxbatons? But it was no use on stressing out on that now that it was too late. They made their ways down a well-light corridor, it looked welcoming, compared to the one she had made her way through last night, coming out of McGonagall's office. It was weird the Hogwarts could be so cold but then so welcoming at times.

The students were lined up at the entrance of the classroom, waiting for their teacher to arrive. Summer, Rebecca and Dawn were already there, chatting about Dawn's recent break-up. The poor girl was still apperently suffering from it, which was normal, come to think of it, beacuse it had, actually taken place the very night before, or was it the week before? Lily couldn't remember, but didn't really give a dawn, anyway. She was more interested in meeting the person who had dumped Dawn. The famous _James Potter_. She seemed to be hearing his name everywhere, as if he were some kind of star within the school. She recalled Arya telling her that she would be meeting him soon. Hum, weird.

The professor arrived. He said hello to certain students, Rebecca being one of them, and opened the door. When Lily entered the room, everyone was already sitting down. She was the only one standing up, and the professor had disappeared in the closet. She looked around, and then spotted an empty seat between Arya and Rebecca. But as she made her way there, she heard a low wolf-whistle, coming from the back of the classroom. Another was heard, from the other side of the room, but Lily decided to ignore it and continue her way. Then another, but this one was distinctly louder than the rest. She spun around towards the back of the room, stopping in her tracks. Her eyes fell on the mysterious dark-haired boy, she had remebered as one of Remus' friends. He had been the one to start them. Noticing her look, a smirk grew on his handsome features. She raised an eyebrow, defying him. His smirk grew bigger, as he wriggled an eyebrow suggestively. Her questioning eyebrow turned into a glare, as he chuckled softly. The whistles had stopped, now everyone in the room was staring openely as this silent _discussion_ was going on between the french beauty and the handsome marauder.

The professor reappeared from the closet, frowning. He had abviously heard the whistles, and was coming out to see what was happening. But when his eyes fell on Lily, standing alone in the middle of the room, understanding washed over him. That teacher wasn't a pervert or anything, but he understood what 16 year-old boys, almost men, could feel when seeing a _nicely_ grown-up girl. He knew what he had felt when he had first seen his wife, so he couldn't really punish these boys, could he? But what he could do was save the poor girl from their clutches, or further embarrasement.

"Now, now boys, is this a way to welcome our new student?"He asked smilling cheekely. "Please, miss...?"

"Evans, sir, miss Evans" She replied, thankful to be saved, but resentful, for he hadn't punished _that _boy.

"Yes, yes, Evans, I remember now. Well, miss Evans, please take a seat, now. We are about to start the lesson. We have lost much time already."

Lily did as she was told, sending one last glare in direction of the boy. He just smirked back. He seemed to be highly amused by the whole situation.

"Now, let's start, shall we?" he asked, as Lily was finally sitting down. "My name, as you should all know, except Miss Evans, here, is _Professor_ Lucas. The Dark Arts are many, varied, ever-changing and eternal, if you all remember. Fighting them is like fighting a many-headed monster, which, each time a neck is severed, sprouts a head even fiercer and cleverer than before. You are fighting which is unfixed, mutating, indestructible. Your defences must be as flexible and inventive as the art you seek to undo. Which is why we will be starting with the non-verbal spells.Who can tell me why we will be studying them first? Yes Miss Maxwell?"

Rebecca had raised her hand enthusiastically.

"Your adversary has no idea of which spell you are about to use, giving a split-second advantage, and stopping him from a quick reaction." she said clearly, but rapidly.

"Yes, excellent. Five points to Gryffindor. Now, I gather you have all _clearly_ understood why you simply _must_ master the non-verbal spells. Pair up in groups of two, and one will try to hex without saying a word, while the other will try to repel the spell, if it works, in equal silence. Go on." the professor said, high in dignity.

Lily paired up with Arya happily. She had already worked on non-verbal spells at Beauxbatons, but had been forced to leave when she had just started to master it. Now would be the ideal moment to see if she had forgotten everything she had worked so hard on.

"Ok, Lils, you start."said Arya anxiously.

"Right." was all Lily answered.

_Bon, tu dois liberer ton esprit. Fais le vide...Bien maintenant, penses fort à ce que tu veux qu'il arrive...Bien...Vas-y!!_ Lily thought. (A/n: good luck translating that! lol. It means: 'Ok, you need to free your mind. Empty it...Good now, think hard about what you want to do...Good..Go!!')And Lily did just that. Her mind was filled with nothing. There was silence. The kind you hear when the hero of a fantastic, or action film when he's concentrating to beat the enemy. That was exactly what Lily was feeling at the moment when she emptied her head. It was her first day, her first class. She had to show some honour and dignity to earn the respect of her fellow students. This motivated Lily to no end.

'_Impidementa' _she thought in an ultimate breath...

In the swish of the air, Arya rose from the floor, and was thrown on the opposite wall. The whole classroom went silent. The students who had turned purple in concentration, inhaled in a gasp. The ones who had been silently laughing at the other students in question, stopped and stared at Arya, laying on the floor. She had obviously not been expecting this. The teacher, hearing the crash, looked around. He too didn't think something of the sort would be happening. He stood there, ringed, just like the rest of the class.

Except Lily. She stood there, inhaling rapidly, as if coming out of an intensive race. She too wasn't expecting it to be so powerful. She wanted it to work, of course, but not to for it to harm. Maybe Arya was hurt!

Lily jumped out of her astonishment, and rushed to help up a shaken Arya.

"Are you ok Arya? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you! Really, I wasn't expecting such a blow!" Lily excused herself, calmly, on the outside, but if you looked in her eyes, you could see the frenzy, the anxiousity, the relief in seeing her new friend alive and secure.

"No, no I'm fine don't worry, just a little shaken by the blow, but no worry!" replied a cheery but trembly Arya.

"I can't believe it! This is the first time it work on the first attempt of a student! Excellent miss Evans! Would you please come here, in front of the class, to demonstrate your prouess?" Bellowed the teacher, finnally coming out of his state of freezness.

"But sir, this is not the first time, actually. I've already practiced this a little at Beauxbatons..."She stammered, wanting any excuse to save herself from the demonstration.

"What do you mean a 'little'? Girl, have you seen the force with which you through Arya _to the wall_?! You've got to come show us this. Now come!" the teacher was starting to get rather annoyed .

Lily, feeling this was the limit, went in front of the classroom. Every eye was on her and at that moment, she started to feel rather self-conscious. Her heart was starting to beat rapidly, she felt little streams of cold sweat running down her back as a wave of nausea washed over ger, and crashed in her stomach. This wasn't normal, never would she have thought that she could become this terrorised to perform in front of other people. She had to get over this...

"Now, now, you need a partner...Hum, let's see who came first in my OWLs last year...Ah, yes, Mr Potter, if you please!" thought professor Lucas.

Lily immediately looked up when hearing the name. So she was going to meet him, finally, but why did it have to be in such a situation? Oh, well, Lily didn't even want to understand why she wanted to meet Potter so...Maybe it was simply because she liked his name...Or simply because he seemed to be royalty at Hogwarts...Whatever the reason, Lily wanted to meet him. Badly.

Meanwhile, a boy, nearly a man, got up from his chair. Lily looked up. '_Oh no. This just can't be him. The boy in question has messy black hair. He's tall. He's mysterious. He has a smirk. . The boy who had started the stupid whistling'_ Lily thought. Just her luck...

He smirked harder seeing her frown. Ha, this girl was gift sent from above. Not that he's religious, or anything, but hell, he would become it if it meant a date with her!

James never, ever thought that about girls, but this one was one hell of a lot special. He remembered seeing her the night before, he swore he couldn't breathe for at least two minutes. Then, he couldn't _think_ for at least two hours afterwards. He almost even got caught by Filch, the caretaker, when he went to change Snape's boxers pink. This was totally abnormal. James was _not_ supposed to react this way in front of girls, no matter how gorgeous they are! Normally, it's the girl who feels this way about him, not the other way around! But what was even more bizarre, was that she didn't seem to do that! Not even when he whistled at her! She just raised an eyebrow as if daring him after a while. Then she glared! Hell, that was _such _a turn on. He hadn't seen her for long (about 20 minutes in total), but he knew very well that he liked everything she did! So now, he was standing in front of her, and the whole class, watching her frown in deceivement and anxiousity, knowing he was bearing a smirk, knowing even better that that was totally annoying her, and loving it!

Lily concentrated, despite the staring of the class and of Potter, despite his cool attitude and impertinent smirk. If he was enjoying this, then she might as well make it worth while for him- throw him a full blow, more powerful than the one she threw Arya! Ha, he would get it for getting under her skin so!

The hollywoodien silence had resurrected, as one deeper was settling between the four walls of the classroom. But he still didn't loose his smirk...

'_Impedimenta!'_ She thought in one desperate cry.

_Oh how I wish for soothing rain..._

* * *

A/n: Reviews welcomed with a warm hug and a cookie!

Cheers and merry christmas (a few days late...) and best wishes for the year to come!

FT


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

'_Run. Run. Don't do anything but run. Away from your life, away from their lives, away from them. Put anything you can between them and you. You have to..._

_I never liked running. I think it's useless to waste quantities of energy for so little speed. But what can you do other than count on yourself? I don't know why I'm running, or actually I do, but I don't know why I would be... It's not like my foster parents were mean. Well, they were, but unconciously. They wouldn't want me to be running away. But I've been doing it so much lately...everytime I feel threatened, I go. It's not being a coward, really, just learning that I couldn't handle everything although I tried, but sometimes it was better to save yourself than risk free pain. So it's the animal instincts of survival, or something, that started taking over._

_I avoid a car, which, it seems, is being driven by a drunk teenager. I turn right. Into Montmatre. Past the Moulin Rouge. Half-naked girls stare at me with curiousity, anything to forget about their lives for a second. I hope I don't end up like them... _

_Left, this time. Far, far away from them. For what could be worse than the absence of love, of the feeling of belonging, of the feeling of living your life? That's exactically why I left Chantal and Luc Darot, I didn't belong, hell, I was intruding even. They didn't want me, I knew. They had been forced to take me in. Just like all my other foster parents. Which was why, I ended up running away each and every time. But this time, contrarily to all the other times, I wouldn't go back to the orphanage, I would go straight into the unknown-aka, the streets of Paris. The only thing that seemed welcoming enough at the moment. _

_Right, then turn right again. Damn, it's a dead end. A group of what seemed like young adults were talking rather loudly. It seemed they were having an arguement of some sort. Oh, now they started yelling. One even pulled out a gun and after hitting his opponent across the back of his head, causing him to yell and fall to the floor, realising he was currently sprouting a river of blood coming out of his ears, then, in a last groan of unbelievement, he sank deep into unconsciousness. That's when the other man, the one who'd hit him, pointed the revolver towards the unconscious man's barely lifting chest, and pressed the trigger, forcing the man into hell forever._

_The man's blood was now making itself a path towards my feet, like traces of rain on a car window. I unconciously jumped away, ending both feet in a deep puddle, the sound was same as a dense rock, crashing into the surface a an old, deep and quiet lake. Naturally, the sound attracted these men, into my direction. _

_No one moved for a second. I could barely breathe anymore. Not because I didn't want to anger them in the least, that part I had already succeeded, but because I knew exactly what was going to happen after angering them. That image wasn't pretty. That's when my animal instincts took over, alas, and I did the best thing I could count on, ran._

_Through avenues, streets, boulevards, past shops and boutiques, into the deep unknown that was Paris. Stupid, irresponsible of me to wait arround when I knew very well that trouble was boiling up under my nose, and not running away immediately._

_Finally, I entered a quartier called Belleville. I ran past the sign 'Metropolis' above the underground. And finally, after narrowly avoiding a black Porsche, I took a drastic turn left, not realising it was a dead end, and tripped over two feet. They weren't mine. They were in fact attached to a young man, who was pale, sweaty and looked like he was in need of a doctor. He was looking up at me with tired brown eyes._

"_Oh, sorry for tripping over your feet, I-I" I started off lamely._

_A smile appeared in the corner of his mouth, it was cold and mocking. And with a lazy and tired movement of his head, he extended his arm and said in a clear, but annoyed voice, _

"_I'm Tom. Tom Riddle."'_

The flashback hit Lily out of nowhere, just as her curse sent James across the room. She didn't know why this one would happen and at that moment. Maybe it was because in that memory, her life would change, just as it had changed when she had met the man. But Lily didn't know that. She was currently being applauded by half the class, while the other half had gone to check up on Potter, casting her questioning looks. Oh, well, he had it coming and he knew it. What she didn't know was that at that moment, James Potter was analysing his pain, both on his body and ego, and coming up with the solution that he was now indcredibely turned on by Lily Evans, and that this was not going to be the last time she heard of him. Oh, no.

Meanwhile, the whole class was, once again in awe at their new student. They had never seen anything like this, and it was terrifying to know that it was because of the cold and new student. Because if that was what she did in a casual _first_ lesson, than what was she hiding? Another mystery at Hogwarts...

Dawn, of course, was jealous of the attention the new student was receiving, as if it weren't enough to have to _hear_ and _gossip _about her at every lunchtime. God, there was just so much a girl could take!

Arya just couldn't stop laughing. She had finally found someone who could ridiculise a marauder! And not just any marauders, James POTTER! And if there was one thing that she was sure of, than that was that she and Lily would be getting along just fine...

On the other hand Rebecca, being the reasonable one in the group, felt that there was something they were missing out about Lily, as if she was bearing a well, well kept secret, but that there was just something...wrong about the Lily character. And, once again, being the reasonable one of the group, it was her duty to discover that _wrong_ thing.

Unknown to her was that a certain wolf of a marauder was thinking the exact same thing...

But what none of them knew was that that secret in question was going to be revealed by an unwanted someone sooner or later.

_------------------------------_

"Well, take your books out now, what are you waiting for?" barked an unsually angry Professor Binns.

It was last period for him, and today had seemed like a hundred years to him. You would have thought that after 2 centuries of teaching, he would have gotten through a day without any problems at all, after all, that was the deal about being dead, because you didn't have any problems anymore, that's why people usually suicide, because they don't know how to get over their problems, but this didn't seem to work for Binns, hell, the older he got, the longer the days became, and it felt like it was hell on earth. So to make the long story short, he was in a particularly foul mood that day, and an hour in class with the Marauders just didn't seem like a treat for him.

The class obeyed to him, got out their books without questioning. Today didn't seem to be a day to make him angry. But that simple fact mustn't have reached a group of 16 year old girls, because they were discussing in an exgravagant manner the lastes news, ie: the blow up James had received from Lily.

"Bloody hell, that was absolutely fantasticabulous!" exclaimed an overjoyed Arya. She currently looked like she had just been given her birthday and christmas presents in one go, when it wasn't either.

"Well, I didn't do anything, I told the teacher I had already done that at Beauxbatons! I just knew my classwork!" Lily explained, feeling stupid.

"Well, you must've been pretty good at it back there, 'cause there has never, and I mean never, and I've read Hogwarts a History, happened to a 16 year old witch, just imagine you skills...!" analysed Rebecca.

"Show off!" mumbled an upset Dawn.

"Well, I thought it was fabulous! I'm happy for you for being so good at your work!" said a brightly smiling Summer. Her name suited her so well...

"Guys, could we just please not talk about this? I mean, it's no big deal, honestly!" Lily badly wanted them to lay off about this topic. She knew her power, she knew it was so much more than this, and they were making a big deal about nothing on Lily's ladder of power, and to be honest, this was making her feel a little bit guilty about her knowing and not telling them.

"Miss Ebanz, is there something you would like to share with the rest of the class?" asked an irratated Binns.

"Um, it's Evans, and no, there's nothing..." she just couldn't stop from saying.

"Oh really? Well, than maybe you can talk usefully by telling me the role of Henry the Hairy in the war of Dynasties, taking place in the mid hundreth century? Go on we're listening, let us see the level you have aquired from Beauxbatons." He replied, this being his last straw. If the girl failed to answer the right answer in a detailed way, she probably will, than that's two hours of detention for her tonight.

'The war of Dynasties, that's right?" she asked, unsure.

The anoyed teacher nodded, there was just so much a ghost could take.

"Well, let's see. Henry the Hairy was actually the one who started out this war, because of his birth, or the people he was born to. He was the son of Catherine the Sad, and William the Grand. So he was brought up in secret, knowing he had Divine Rights, thus making him believe, above anything else that he was to be ruler of the Rich Land. But the problem was that his governor, also believed he had a right to power because of the death of William the Grand and his place in the Royal Family. He also had an influencial power and a better status, and he was much, much more educated, beacuse he had learned from Morgana. So Henry had no chance of winning power over Christian the Black, any other man would have left it there, and gone straight into exile in France. But Henry didn't because his beliefs were forcing him to go against nature. So he began his policy, he rounded up as much of people as he possibly could, and when he had a reasonable amount of supporters, he went to the House of Commons and tried to get power from the inside by killing Christian the Black. That would be what the french would call a failed 'coup d'etat'. So thus began the civil war. Some were convinced that if they wanted their country to be the better of all, than they should follow a wise and educated man, but others thought that God was the only one they could believe in and that those appointed by God should be those followed, not lowly back-stabbing nobles. Eventually Henry managed to end his ennemy by forcing a courtisan to cast him an _avada kedavra_ while they were making love, but by the time he came to power, his son over-threw him because he was so old and weak. That was the role of Henry the Hairy during the war of Dynasties. I hope you enjoyed sir." She explained, shocking the class by her, once again, knowledge.

The Professor looked at his student, disdraught. This was the only form of entertainement he got in his life. No partying or quidditch game could make him escape the dullness of his life, and now his student had ruined his fun for the next 50 years. Really.

Lily, however was smiling cheekily to herself. She hated receiving any form of attention from unwanted people, but now that she had it, she was enjoying it. Some people could say that she was beginning to get a big-head. She would just reply that she was living, at last.

James was ennerved. Terribly turned-on by Lily, but ennerved nonetheless. How on earth did she manage to make everything perfect for her? It was like whenever she touched something, it would turn into gold. And James just couldn't wait to turn golden!

--------------------------------

So the weeks pass by, some longer than others, some funner than others, and a hell of a lot annoying ones, but that was just life. And Lily had gotten used to life by now, so she went by them, as naturally and normally possible for her.

And now they were coming dangerously close to May. That meant they were coming dangeroulsy close to the end-of-the-year-exams, which meant that all of the school was buried deep in a book. Although it wasn't OWLs anymore, and not yet the NEWTs, but it was still vital for the sixth years to pass. But despite all this studying, Lily was always fresh and ready for a hard day's work, always ready for an essay in potions or an incantation to master in Transfiguration. Whenever there was someone who failed to understand or messed up a spell, Lily was always there to save them. And it was fine by them, so long as she didn't brush it in their faces.

And she didn't. She just went by her life, doing what she could to avoid conflict with others, she didn't have anymore of the flashbacks she used to get, but still had the occasional nightmare about the night she killed her mother. Weirdly, she never cried afterwards, as if she was unemotionally touched by this memory. But that was on the outside, inside, she would be screaming, shaking, bleeding, but what could a poor forgotten girl do against her past, because it just wasn't leaving her alone anymore. Ever since she arrived at Hogwarts, it was constantly clinging on to her, making her general life hell again. Schoolwork was the only way to get away from it a bit. But a dark past can never be forgotten, can it?

_Oh, how I wish for soothing rain._

Although Lily had gotten herself good friends, Summer, Rebecca, especially Arya. She was close enough with Sirius and occasionally shared homework sessions with Remus. She didn't know anything about Peter, and didn't care one bit. James was cold towards her, as if suspicious about something, when he was really just trying to figure her out. But the real problem was Dawn. That girl was unapproachable for Lily. She obviously had something against Lily. Whether it be the popularity Lily had gained herself without trying in a few weeks, or the excellent grades she got, or simply the way the male population looked at her, it wasn't about to stop. Oh no, in fact in was just about to reach the breacking point...

It was a late April day, at dinner. The group of girls had just come out of double DADA, where Lily had once again proved her skills while duelling a demonstration against the teacher. She, of course, had won. But what angered Dawn, was that as they packed up their stuff, Devon Fields, a handsome Ravenclaw, had gone up to Lily, boldly flirting with her, but of course, poor, innocent and naive Lily was clueless as to what was happening, which only encouraged an eager Devon. Dawn saw red as he winked at Lily and left, turning back as he stepped out to smile charmingly at her.

But what was even more annoying to Dawn, was that James Potter seemed to have noticed this flirt session, and he was obviously livid with jealousy.

So it wasn't really a surprise when he came up to Lily at dinner. They had just taken a seat when James came up to her and sat down beside the beautiful red-head.

"Lily, I like you." he said, out of the blue.

Lily turned towards him, realising he was beside her. She looked at him, not entirely believing she had heard right.

"Excuse me?" she just managed to stutter.

"Yeah, I know it's kind of random, what with me not really knowing you but, Lily, I think I'm starting to like you and I wanted to let you know. Wanna go out sometime?" he continued.

Lily simply stared, her mouth hanging open. She couldn't figure out how James could tell her this and not be fazed, or embarassed, or anything, simply stating it as a fact. And she was shocked about this revelation.

Seeing her silence, James started to wonder if he hadn't been a bit forward. Oh, well too late now.

The table was quiet, which was a change, when it was usually Gryffindor table the loudest of the four.

Dawn was now definitely killing someone in particular today.

"Why you lousy back-stabbing bitch! I can't believe you!" she screamed.

"Wh-what?" Lily managed to say. Right, this was too much to handle at once. James random revelation was one thing, the insults finally being said by Dawn, was another, but both at the same time was chaos.

"Oh, like you don't know! Don't you dare play at that game! You've seen me cry my eyes out because of my breack-up with James, and now you go wooing him behind my back! You could have at least had the decency to fucking tell me!" Dawn was yelling, rendering the whole Hall silent. The teachers didn't dare to interfeer, feeling they would end up as dust if they felt the anger of Lily Evans, they had all seen what she was capable of.

"What? I never-" Lily started, interrupted by James.

"How dare you call Lily this? If I left you it was beacuse you were a clinging air-head who couldn't get enough of herself!" he had finally decided to come and save his beauty from the claws of the ugly ex. No one had the right to call Lily that in the first place, whether he liked her or not.

"See, now you've even gotten him under some spell, you cheap hooker! You bloody bitch! Hasn't your mother taught you manners?! Didn't she ever tell you not to steal other people's things?! Well now I know why you're such a whore, took after your mother, didn't you?!" Dawn wasn't controlling what she was saying anymore...

Lily's eyes started to burn with tears of anger. Lily wouldn't be held responsible for what was to happen...

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A/n: cheers and reviews!

lol

Sorry for the lack of action, I promise the next chapter will be much more moving, with LJ action and developpement of the story!

So review!

FT


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Lily's eyes started to burn with tears of anger. She wouldn't be held responsible for what was to happen...

' "_Come on, Evans, do you want to get caught?" Asked a panting, pale, thin, sharply faced young man._

"_I'm running, I'm running, but it's not my fault I have such tiny legs, you know!" answered an equally panting girl, who was 12 years old, who was me._

"_There! turn!" he said agressively._

_Finally, we had reached our haven. It was dirty, smelly, crawled with rats and street cats, but it had been home for the past 2 years. And nothing, for me, was better than having a home. It was queazy, uncomfortable, wet, but at least it had a semblance of a roof, and living there made me feel better than I had felt in years._

"_Here Red" he said, tossing me a bag filled with stolen food and money, keeping a little bag of white powder for himself._

_Today's escapade had been generous, we had collected enough food for at least two days, and enough money for a month, unless he used it to pay his powder, and although they had had a narrow escape from the rich appartement, the collect was fertile._

_I took the bag, opening it feverishly, grabbing the first thing that came to my hand and started eating as if my life depended on it, and it did, because I hadn't eaten in about 2 days. As the food started soothing my stomach, I noticed that he hadn't asked me to pass him the bag. I looked over to him. He was sitting on a piece of cardboard paper, his long legs spread out in front of him in exhaustion. His face was pale, sweaty with eager as his fingers tried clumsily and trembling to unleash the powder out of its bag._

_I knew what would happen once it came out. He would sniff it. Then a dazed smile would appear on his face, his eyes would start rolling in and out of his orbits and he would have the occasional twich of his body. It was impossible to talk to him during these dreadful hours of mad unconciousness. I hated when he was like that. But what I hated most was when he didn't have his daily sniff, because then he was inraged with need of his white poison. He would yell, break tore and hit everything that came into his hands, whether it be me or a rat. And everytime it would happen, the screaming or the rolling eyes, I would wonder what possessed him to sniff it._

_I didn't understand. I didn't understand at all. He knew it was bad because he had forbidden me to _ever_ touch it. So why did he take it himself? _

_That question was hot on my tongue, I knew I would have to ask him sooner or later, whether it were for my sack or his, I didn't know._

_I swallowed my last bite of bread. Took in a deep breath. Raised my courage and took a dare._

"_Riddle?"I asked shyly but firmly._

_He looked up, annoyment, long and anger obvious in his eyes, for I had cut him before he could inhale the poison he was in deep need of._

"_What?" replied he aggressively._

"_I-I was won- wondering why you...um...-" I just couldn't get the words out._

"_Well?" now he was really becoming annoyed._

"_Why you took that white powder?" I asked, thinking it was too late to take it back now._

_The anger vanished form his eyes, replaced by sorrow, a ghost of a smile in the corner of his mouth. He looked at me as if he wanted to go back into the innocence of ununderstandings of the adult ways. He looked at me with such melancoly of harsh reality, filled with forgotten dreams and lost causes, I felt like crying for ever having brought this feeling of nostalgia in his eyes._

"_Because Red, it makes me live." And on these words, he sniffed and a blurry paradise overcame his thoughts.'_

_--------------------------_

"You're telling me I'm a bitch?! Would you, _please_, look at yourself in the mirror?! I may be a bitch, but at least I have a semblance of dignity. At least I don't go about crying for months over a guy whom I know will never love me! At least I don't crave for what's untouchable! At least I don't act like a fucking whore to get a male's attention! At least I don't act all sour because I think that if people don't have any concern in my problems, than they're not worth talking to!" Lily was at the verge of rage. How dare that girl mention her mother!

"Well, maybe you should! It would change from that cold exterior you use to protect yourself! I don't get how you could be so cold, so reserved! One would think you were cowarding, which you probably are!" spat an out-of-herself Dawn, sour that someone new and praised like Lily could ever dare to insult her, the queen of the school. Or so she thought...

That was it for Lily. Nothing could control her now...

"Why you haven't any idea of what my life is like! You couldn't imagine it even if you tried! You little-" Lily was about to call Dawn every name that went through her mind, raising her wand, undecided on whether to use the _Avada Kedavra_ spell or the _Crucio_ one, when she was ever so rudely cut by the only person who was thought to be powerful enough to stop her.

"This is quite enough. Miss Stranferd, if you would please take a seat and calm yourself. 50 points from Gryffindor each and a week's worth detention for you." Dumbledore was oddly cool and collected in front of this exchange of rude words. He had felt hushed pain and anger coming from both the girls, and decided that it would be best if these two girls could release it before it exploded. But when Lily had taken out her wand, when he had seen Dawn's face grow paler by the second, when he remembered the gossip in the teacher's lounge of how much power Lily possessed and then saw the determined look in her eyes to cause as much pain as possible, he decided it was time to interfeer.

"For you Miss Evans , it will be a month's worth detention starting tonight after supper, you will come to my office and we shall discuss in what way to treat your behaviour. But that time is not now, so you may continue eating in _peace_." His blue eyes flaming beneath his half-moon spectacles.

He turned around, and started towards his table. The hall erupted with whispers and fingers pointing towards James, Dawn but mostly Lily.

She stood there. Too stunned to remember to breathe. Then she realized what had just happened. Her anger came back, flowing, drowning every other thought, but it was not entirely towards Dawn. Some of it was for her life. Some towards Riddle. Some towards herself for being so childish and naive. But mainly it was towards that old man, who thought he was above everything, thought he knew everything, thought he could control everything by a simple punishment, so look who was being naive now!

' _Today had been my first assignement alone, and it had been good. I alone had collected 50 francs, an apple, a tomato, several bananas and a loaf of fresh bread. Tonight's supper would be a feast! And how glad and proud would Tom be when he saw that his teaching hadn't been in vain! Ah, I felt so pleased with myself at the moment that I started whistling a tune which had been heard once, long ago, on television, and surprisingly some lyrics came back to my mind._

'_Someone holds me safe and warm,_

_Horses prance through a silver storm,_

_Figuers_ _dancing gracefully_

_Across my memory_

_Far away, long ago_

_Things I yern to remember_

_And a song someone sings_

_Once upon a December.'_

_There, one last turn and I will be back home for a party!_

_Or so I thought. Foolish of me to think that my peaceful times with Riddle would last forever. 4 years of paradise was enough for a 14 year old girl._

_I turned and went into my haven, only Tom wasn't waiting for me expectantly, pacing back in forth. No. He was waiting for me sprawled on the floor and barely breathing. When I came near him, on my knees because my legs couldn't hold me any longer, trembling madly, shocked and unbelieving frenzy spinning around ragely in my head._

"_What's wrong, Riddle?" I barely managed to say._

" _I took... too much of... of my white poison..." he smiled up sadly towards me. I wanted to throw up._

"_How many times did I tell you not to take it? See what happens when you do! I was right." I managed to say. I know I shouldn't be repremending him at this time, but my little brain was unwilling to suck in the information that he might die and leave me, all alone._

_His smile still didn't vanish, even as I started crying, even as I started screaming and thumping my palms against his chest.His smile didn't vanish when he gave a strange old ring, with a snake carved on the side. And when he closed his eyes, the smile so uncommon to his sharp but handsome face, was now carved into the eternity of hell.'_

"Punish me?! You think punishing me will solve everything we said?!" She asked, bewilderd and unbelieving.

He turned around, surprised. Past experiences told him that public embarrassment was the worst punishment for a normal 16 year old girl. But Lily Evans was not normal. He had been wrong on that last one, and felt he had insulted her by using common measures he normally used for common people. Guilt penetrated his chest as he stood facing her.

"You think that by giving me detention you can erase my past?!" she continued.

"Of course not! I'm merely trying to correct your conduct today, because I will not have it repeat itself in my school! Now if you would please calm yourself, then we could start talking about your behaviour in private" He answered firmly and strictly.

Lily looked at him as if he had sprouted a fifth limb.

"And they call you the greatest wizard of our time." Insolence wasn't a solution, she knew, but at the moment it seemed to be the only thing able to provoke the rational (or irrational) response she was waiting for.

McGonagall gasped as she heard what came out of her student's mouth. This girl was obviously someone special, but being special or not, it didn't spare her from punishment. So she decided, out of mere furry, to enter this argument which should have never, if you asked her, taken place.

"This is enough now! Never, in all my teaching time, have I ever heard such disrespect towards a professor! If you continue on this road, Miss Evans it will be expulsion!" She cried with all her might. Red in the face, frenzy in her chest, and as she barked out these words, little dropplets of saliva erected through her thin, trembly lips. Never had the students seen their teacher like this. They had seen her mad out of belief at the Marauders eventually, but never, never in such a state of rage.

Lily fell quiet for a second, realizing the disgrace of her acts, thinking of the state her mother would have been in if she had witnessed her exchange with her superiors. But Lily was too mad with furry to even care about that anymore. She wanted to be gone of here, far far away, but she didn't want to run away. She didn't want to coward away, like she had done for the better part of her life, despite what she kept telling herself against it. No she wanted to be dismissed, asked to be gone, she wanted to be such an unbearable child, such a heavy burden, that Hogwarts would to be forced to get rid of her. And she wanted to do it in the most memorable, straight-to-the-sack way. And so she did.

"Then do! Send me back then! If I'm such a burden to you then Send Me Back!" She screamed, looking at Dumbledore in the white of their eyes.

They stared at each other during a pregnant blanc in which the students didn't know what to say, to do other than stare, for astonishment was so evident in their eyes. The teachers didn't know whether they should agree to expel her or hide behind their table due to the blazing electricity coming from her eyes.

After a suspensful moment, Dumbledore, unable to sustain her gaze any longer, looked down, admitting defeat. Lily's eyes then shone with pity and disgust, a sneer appearing on her graceful features. She took a step towards Dumbledore, coming just a few fet away from him, and said, in the most disgusted, and pitiful voice she could muster:

"You can't send me back. You pity me. You think I'm saying this to make you feel bad, but you couldn't send me back even if I had killed your mother! You disgust me with your pity. Always being nice because you're too weak to be mean! That's what's going to kill you, your pity. That's going to be the end of you! You disgust me."

She turned around towards the door, giving one last sneer at Dumbledore who's eyes still hadn't left the floor. She turned her back to him. To everything he represented. This violent argument had proved her that this governement and way of thinking was weak. Too weak to resist anything bad that was bound to come, or that was already there... She too had heard of this great powerful wizard who killed and tortured anyone who stood in his way. His victims were muggles and muggleborns. This oddly reminded her of the genocide of the jewish by Hitler not so long ago. The situation was similar although one took place in a muggle world whilst the other was in a wizard's world. She had a queazy feeling that history repeated itself too much for comfort. Yes, this way of thinking could never face the worst which was already there...

Heading to the door of the Great Hall, she noticed a shadow which hadn't been there before. She stopped, realizing that this was no shadow. This was a cloak. No this was a man wearing a cloak. This was a man.

He took a step forward, into the light. But she couldn't see his face for he was wearing a hood.

"Oh dear, I hope I'm not intruding on anything!" Said a cold, sharp, malicious voice. Then it laughed for it had witnessed the whole of the drama.

That voice rang a bell to Lily. Shivers ran down her spine, lifting as it went, the tiny hairs of her back and her neck and her arms. Her heart started beating faster. Her breathing accelerated to a point where she could hear her heart in her ears and feel it in her head. She knew the voice. And she also knew that that voice was supposed to be dead...

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A/n: hello all! I'm deeply sorry for this late and rather short up-date, but this seemed to be the best tme to stop this fic. I know I'm evil to always leave on a cliff-hanger, but life's unfair, isn't it? Lol, anyway, thanks for all these fantastic reviews! I feel so loved!! So cheers, and:

Read and Review!

FT


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Lily was pale. Paler than before her argument with the Headmaster, or the one she had had with Dawn. Paler, even than when she had seen her mother die. Lily was pale and her eyes showed the unbelieving distress of a human facing a ghost. She was paralyzed, which was good, otherwise she would be, at the very moment, trembling out of her body. She was seeing a ghost. But this ghost wasn't supposed to be a ghost. This ghost was supposed to be dead. Gone. Vanished. Buried ten feet under worm-filled soil. Not standing in front of her, laughing as if this situation was mocking irony. Which it was, both for the ghost and Lily.

The laugh was powerful. It was sarcastic. It was the one of a man coming home after 5 years of war and catching his best friend in his wife's bed. It was the laugh of a teenager finally discovering the hypocrisy of life. It was the laugh of an old man dieing of flue after surviving 25 years of coma. It was Tom Riddle's laugh when he saw his _protégée_.

"_T...T-Tom?"_ Lily managed to whisper. Her anger gone, and seemingly her courage gone with it. Rage had morphed into something numb and her disgust was turning her stomach around, vomiting seemed to be the only sensible thing to do at the moment.

"Yes, Red, it's me! I've changed haven't I?" He asked amusement back in his voice, "You see, I've met someone. Someone who helped me become a stronger person. And now that I am myself again, I've come to save you. And to see how my little Red was carrying on with her life without me. I must say I was surprised to find out that you had come to Dumbledore's school. I am, to be quite honest with you, disappointed but you didn't know about my increasing dislike towards him so I forgive you. But it seems to me that you have stayed in his company far too long, so I've come to retrieve you and take you back with me."

Silence met his words. Lily had tears swelling up in her eyes. Her best friend...her saviour...her brother was back... She had longed to see his expressionless face, to hear his sharp voice, to feel his cold presence. Fate had never been compassionate towards her, but now it seemed that it was giving her a treasure, or better, a second chance! But the treasure had lost it's glow and the second chance just seemed to be superficial. Tom was alive. He was here to take her away and yet, try as she might, she didn't want to flee again. And although, moments ago she had wanted to leave this school, now it seemed to her that it had become her home. And a home was what she needed. And she knew that her earlier tantrums and disputes with the headmaster and Dawn were fruits of her internal distress and although you sometimes dream of leaving home because you feel alone, unloved and hated or that you simply don't belong, you never go away, you never leave because you know that living in a world without a home is like living without a heart--impossible. When Lily understood that, she finally comprehensed why she cried at night, why she had run away from her foster families, why she had nearly died when her mother had left forever, why she couldn't breathe when Tom's smile got carved in the eternal...All her life, her homes had been taken away from her by the wills of destiny. But here she was, standing between the Great Hall's tables and the giant oak doors. Just as she stood between a haven and an unknown but doubtful futur with Tom. But now she had the choice. _She_ could choose what it would be. _She_ could decide on her futur. And all she knew was that she wasn't going to say goodbye to another home.

Her decision made, she regained her composure of apparent ease and coolness. The shock of his reappearance was still fresh in her mind, but now that she had the cards in hand and that she was ready to fight, nothing could stop her, even if she knew that this fight would be very, very rough.

"I'm sorry Tom, but I can't go with you." Aloofness and dignity gave her a royal-like pose. Riddle noticed.

"What do you mean, you can't go with me? Can't you walk anymore?" He asked a smirk appearing on his sharp features.

"I mean what I said. I can't go, or...I don't want to go." She replied, her face still expressing no emotion.

The smirk slowly disappeared and was replaced by a look of anger and bewilderment as he slowly registered what she said.

"Are you mad?! Don't you realize I could give you anything, _anything_ you want and need? He changed me! He made me stronger! He gave me power! He cured me, Lily! _Tu ne comprends pas que je suis devenue une nouvelle person?! Il m'a sauvé! Il m'a changé! Il m'a donné des richesses que tu ne pourrais jamais imaginer! Et toi, tu me dis que tu ne peux pas venir?! Putain, mais qu'est-ce qui t'est arriver?!" (: Don't you understand that I have become a new person?! He saved me! He changed me! He gave me treasures you could never imagine! And you, you tell me you don't want to come?! But what in hell happened to you?!) _

Riddle was so disbelieving, so confused, so bewilderd to see that the girl he had protected and believed her of his sister, would be turning him down, turning down their friendship and all the power they could have together to stay at a _school headmastered by Albus Dumbledore_! When he though of all the opportunities they could have, when he thought that, together, they could rule the world...He saw scarlet. He saw blood. He saw death.

"I'm sorry Tom. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for everything that happened to me, to us. I'm sorry about my life. And I'm sorry about your death...But you, better than anyone on this planet knows who I am, what I've done, where I've been and why I did all these things. You know me just as I know you. You haven't changed, don't fool me. You're the same, impulsive, nervous, unstable person. Don't fool yourself. I can't follow you. And although Hogwarts isn't perfect and although I'm far from it too, this is the one place I know I won't kill or won't be killed because of drugs! Tom, it wasn't your fault, I know that. But I can't leave the one thing which seems to be stable for me. I'm sorry, so, so sorry!" Tears were rolling down her cheeks freely now. But she didn't care for her heart was being ripped in pieces. She had just done the most difficult choice in her life and she was hoping, for the first time, that she would never live to regret it.

The hall was silent. Everyone was confused. The students didn't understand who this Tom was nor what he had to do with Lily. Or why she was crying. Or why the teachers, especially Dumbledore, were so pale.

James had a huge ball in his throat. He hated the atmosphere in this room. Be it any other situation he would have pulled a joke to release the tension, but now seemed to be the wrong moment. But what he hated most was to see Lily cry. He barely knew her, but he knew that she was strong, too strong sometimes, and seeing her cry so freely and hard seemed to tear his insides. She must feel so much pain... A feeling of bravery rose up in his chest. Heroic blood seemed to stream to his head and he felt that he would do anything to stop her from crying...But alas, there seemed to be nothing he could accomplish other than promise himself that he would never, never, until he died, be the cause of such sorrow to her.

Lily watched, expectant of a blow from Tom, through tearful eyes. But nothing came, leaving her in front of an expression: he was facing maturely her refusal, maybe he had changed...she still felt horrible for what she had said, but nothing could make her change her mind. Maybe Tom would be leaving soon, without any fights or tantrums.

Finally he spoke. Finally he said something. Finally, he sealed fate.

"Then...It shall be death."

It had been foolish of him to come to Hogwarts, after all, it was where Dumbledore lived, professors of the best skills keeping him company while they were teaching the next generation of wizards. Yes, it was foolish of Tom to come to Hogwarts when he could be captured if he showed any sort of hostility towards any of them. But Tom didn't want to fight. He hadn't come to Hogwarts to duel, or kill anyone. His nature was still of a helpless, nervous and awkward man, but that will change. In fact it started changing the second he layed eyes on Lily. She was beautiful. She was so heavenly looking that all his being wanted to protect her in any way possible, from anyone who threatened her. Even if the person in question was herself.

She had, clearly, bewitched him. Not with her wand or a potion she might have brewed, no, with a smile, with a laugh, with a tear. She was herself, and that was enough to bewitch anyone. And although no one, not even Tom, knew of his state, he was under her spell (not litterally), all these nights up, thinking about his little sister... Which was why, when he had been in shape and form to move and speak again, he had made up his mind to come and take her away, to keep her close to him. So he had come to save her from Hogwarts.

But she had refused to come. She had said no. She had denied him, denied his protection, his friendship for her. He had cured himself, resisted his white poison, became a new man just so that they could be reunited again. He had done all these things, for himself and her!

But she had said no.

She had said no to him.

She was abandoning him.

She was killing him again.

But worst, she was killing herself, and that was unacceptable. No one could touch his Lily. She refused to leave with him. She was staying with Dumbledore, staying away from him, thus sinking her own ship. If he couldn't be there to protect her, than she would be killed, and that could not happen.

"Hell, it will! If you dare touch her, I swear it'll be the last thing you do. Now be gone." Spoke a smooth, deep, angry voice.

Everyone had forgotten him, especially Lily, who turned around to face a pale but determined and threatening James. She had never seen him so angry. He looked like he could kill. He took a step in front of her, as if to protect her with his own body. He was so much taller than her, she could barely see anything past his shoulder. And he smelled so good, of autumn leaves, cinnamon and freshly cut grass, with a faint sent of cologne...Lily was getting distracted by James and that was not good.

"Ooh, dear Lily, it seems you didn't waste any time finding yourself a protector, this is a good quality...But you don't need him anymore, because you're coming home with me now!" Stated Riddle, both annoyed and impressed, mixed with impatience.

"I said be gone!" Replied James, his voice rising a little. He would protect her until his body rot.

Silence followed his words, but Riddle didn't move. He couldn't move, that would prove that he was giving into that boy, that he was letting his Lily slip away and end herself, because he knew that if she stayed this would , one way or another, be the end of her. Only he didn't know that _he _would be the end of her. But Dumbledore had an idea. Ever since Riddle had left Hogwarts, Albus had kept a descrete eye on him, had watched him as he little by little decayed himself, spied on him as Riddle slowly consumed himself into hell. It was natural, thereafter for Albus to see Lily, for as he watched Riddle, he discovered the hidden, broken flower that was Lily. He felt her spirit slowly regain it's corpse as she stayed by Riddle, and then saw it being blown out when he left her. He then continued watching her as she entered Beauxbatons, and saw, with great surprise but contempt pleasure as she entered his school, where he could watch and guide her through her life. He figured that as long as she stayed at Hogwarts he could teach and show her the ways of the world and how to survive in it, teach her to be able to blossom into the beautiful flower she was to become. But if Riddle came to take her away, all his teaching would have been useless as she was brainwashed and invaded by the Dark Arts. He just couldn't let such a beautiful flower wither, consume itself, and die in the hands of a clueless, unstable man. But he knew that if she didn't follow him, one day or another she would be dragged away helplessly, left with a choice of death or obedience. But futur could be changed, just as long as you believed. And Dumbledore believed, hoped, was willing to take the risk, take that chance...

"I really don't think you're in the position to discuss, boy, this is between Red and me, so I would appreciate you to keep your mouth shut from talking nonense about what you could never understand!" Riddle just couldn't stop or control his anger, any minute now it will burst.

"That is enough Tom. You heard Mr. Potter, leave." Dumbledore said, with his familiar cool aloofness.

"Oh, so this is a Potter? And there was I, wondering who in their right mind would have the stupidity to face me, but now I understand...Stupidity is hereditary in the Potter line, isn't it?..You're lucky, boy, because I don't feel like fighting...I'll be going now, but don't worry, I'll be back... Red?..." He said, then he looked at the pale crying face of Lily Evans, half hidden behind James' shoulder, who still hadn't moved. Riddle's eye were filled with sadness, regret, distress, but something clicked in his mind. His eyes changed, became darker, menacing, sparkling with anger, madness, dieing for revenge...

And in an instant he was gone. A loud bang and smoke all around where he used to stand. His cold presence was still palpable. His dark eyes were carved into each person in this hall, for they all knew that they would be hearing from him again...

----

James turned around to check up on Lily. He saw that her cheeks had falling streaks of tears. Her eyes had turned into a water fall, she just couldn't stop crying. He saw her pale, wet cheeks, her ruby red lips, her puffy eyes with smudged eyeliner, she was beautiful. She raised her forest green eyes to him. He could read pain there...but it suddenly turned into surprise, her eyes were alarmed, just as her face turned alarmed too...

"J-James..." She whispered.

"It's okay, love I'll take care of you. Sssh it's okay, it's okay, he's gone." James looked down at her fondly, wrapping an arm around her for a comfort hug.

"James! You're bleeding!" She cried.

His eyebrows furrowed as he raised a hand to his cheek. It was wet, he could feel water running down his face. He took his hand away from his cheeks and up to his eyes. His hand was covered in red liquid...blood.

Blood and Lily's beautiful but alarmed and distressed face was the last image he saw, before it went totally black as he fainted. Well, it seemed that Riddle had left his mark after all...

-----

James woke up two days later, his body feeling sore and cramped, but he couldn't feel the pain, because he woke up to the most beautiful thing. Lily, curled up as a ball on a chair beside his hospital wing bed. Her head was resting peacefully on her knees, her long curly hair had fallen from its bun, and was spread around her like a heavenly hallow. There was nothing more beautiful to James than that scene.

He reached out a shaking hand to touch her slightly pale cheek. So smooth, so warm...How could a girl so cold, be so beautiful, so absolutely perfect?

Her eyes fluttered open to rest in his. She had stayed in the Hospital Wing with him ever since he entered it. She stayed to watch over his unconscious body, afraid of Riddle's return, wanting to protect him, just as he would protect her. But she didn't know that. Her guilt was clouding her vision, and she thought she only stayed there because it was her fault that he was there in the first place, not because she cared for him. But it was true. Fate had once again operated. Riddle had promised to come back and save her from herself, just as she was gradually falling for the handsome marauder. And when fate operated, there was nothing to be done.

"James, you're awake!" She whispered sleeply.

"Yeah, how long have I been gone?" He asked, furrowing his brows.

"2 days yesterday. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me! I'm sorry, it's all my fault you're hurt! If I hadn't come here, then nothing would've happened! You could've died, all because of me! Why am I like this?! Why is it always me?! Why do I have to bring death and pain to all the ones I care about?! What have I done to deserve this?! I'm so sorry James, I'm so sorry..." She cried hysterically, before dissolving in sobs.

James was powerless in front of her cries. He didn't know what to do. All he knew was that it wasn't her fault no matter what she said. If there was someone to blame for this "accident" then it was him, for if he hadn't cared for her, he would never have felt the need to protect her. The only blame she could take, was making people care so much about her, and where was the bad in that?

"It's okay, really, it's fine! See, I'm alright, just a bit sore" That made her redouble in sobs, "No, no I'm kidding, I'm fine, stop crying now, it's okay!" He tried, failing to make her sobs die down.

He took her into a hug, they stayed this way for hours until it was dusk, and they both fell asleep.

But before closing their eyes and succombing to deep slumber into each others arms, Lily remembered something of great importance.

"So you like me, eh?" She asked. And James chuckled softly.

* * *

A/n: Hello! I'm so sorry for this late update, but, I just had huge exams at school, (brevet, if any of you know what that is), so I've been studying like mad! Anyway I hope you liked this chapter, and I also hope that you'll leave a review! lol!

Special thanks to Aussie and great big thanks to all of you who've reviewed, it means a lot! So I hope you're all okay, and well...Aurevoir!

French Tears xx


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